When the Goalpost Keeps Shifting
You got what you wanted. So why doesn’t it feel like enough?
Last year, I graduated with an MBA from an Ivy League business school. On the day of my graduation, the one emotion I strongly felt was:
“I feel like I worked harder to get in here than I did to get out of here.”
There was no sense of pride. No feeling of achievement. Just… nothing.
Which is weird, because from 2019 to 2022, getting into a top MBA was the only thing I talked about. Everyone around me knew that was the goal. I used to think all my struggles, worries, and restlessness would go away once I made it there. That I’d finally feel settled. That I’d do a chill job and never again fall into a prestige-seeking trap.
What do you think happened?
I got in. And for the six months between getting my acceptance and stepping foot into America, I was ecstatic. It felt like I’d arrived.
But within two months of starting school, that feeling faded. I found myself chasing the next big thing again — something shiny, something that looked good on paper. Consulting felt like the obvious path because that’s what everyone else was going for. And I felt this quiet pressure: why not me too?
I had barely begun the MBA, and I was already back in chase mode.
The Arrival Fallacy
Coined by psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar, the term arrival fallacy refers to the belief that once we attain a particular goal, we’ll finally feel happy, secure, and fulfilled.
That was me. I truly believed that getting into a top MBA would be my turning point. That I’d stop striving. That I’d finally be at peace.
And to be fair — it did feel that way for a bit.
But slowly, that sense of “I’ve arrived” turned into just another reality. It didn’t feel as magical as it did in my mind. The version I had fantasized about for years was much bigger in my imagination than in real life.
If you're someone who's currently working toward a goal that feels all-consuming — whether it's a school, job, salary, or lifestyle — I’m not saying it won’t mean anything. But just know, the feeling might not last as long as you think.
I’ve realized that no next big goal will be my true arrival.
It won’t come from becoming a manager on a fast track.
It won’t come from hitting 100K followers. Or even a million.
It won’t come from living in the perfect apartment or making X amount per year.
Because no matter where I reach, it will become my new baseline.
Instead, the arrival might come from recognizing how far I’ve come.
From remembering where I once was, what I wanted at the time, and where I am today. And being thankful for that.
So if you’re feeling like you’re still not “there,” or the goalpost keeps shifting — remind yourself that you’re probably already living parts of a life you once dreamed of.
It doesn't have to only be career-related.
Maybe you once hoped to run a 10K, and today you can run 5. That’s still progress.
Maybe you never imagined living in a new country on your own — and here you are, trying to make it every day, despite the struggles. That’s resilience. That’s growth.
I’ll still chase new things — because that’s just who I am.
But maybe the point isn't to stop chasing altogether.
Maybe it’s just to stop believing that the next thing will finally make you feel enough.
If you're reading this and feel like you're still not “there,” like the next milestone is the one that’ll fix everything — just pause for a second.
Look at where you are now.
What you once wanted.
And what parts of that you’re already living.
It might not look perfect. It might not even feel like much. But it counts.
You don’t need to hit the next goal to be proud of yourself.
You don’t need to arrive to feel full.
Maybe you’re already more “there” than you think.
If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Have you ever worked toward something for years, only to feel a little flat once you got there?
Or felt like the goalpost moved the second you crossed the finish line?
Hit reply or leave a comment — I’d genuinely love to hear what “arrival” has looked like for you.
And if you know someone who's stuck in the chase right now, feel free to forward this their way.
Maybe they need the reminder too.
In life, there is no finish line. So keep chasing! Congratulations btw 🥳